There’s a cute girl in your office and you can’t tell if she’s flirting with you or just being friendly. She might be single, have a boyfriend, or be married, but you’re starting to wonder if she really is attracted to you.
We’ve all been there. In fact, workplace crushes are more common that you might think. Psychology research suggests that we may be biologically hardwired to become attached to those who are around us on a day to day basis (1). When you’re with someone for 8 – 10 hours a day, being in close proximity on a constant basis might lead to this attachment. This would explain the ever so common “workplace crush.”
But enough rationalizing, you’re here to figure out if she really does like you. Read the 8 signs below and figure out how many of them your coworker displays towards you.
10 Signs A Female Coworker Likes You
- Asks you to do things outside of work
- Asks about evening or weekend plans
- Texts or calls you outside of work
- Asks about your family
- Asks you to lunch
- Touches you
- Smiles at you
- Prolonged eye contact
- Laughs easily around you
- Starts to become interested in the things you enjoy
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Asks You To Do Things Outside of Work
If your female coworker starts to ask you to hang out outside of work she might have a crush on you. She might ask you to go to the movies, dinner, or go out to a bar with her friends. A coworker that tries to establish some sort of relationship outside of working hours is very likely to be interested in you. If she wants to spend time with you, she has clearly been thing about you.
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Asks About Your Evening or Weekend Plans
If she is asking you about your plans for the evening or on the weekend she might be interested in you. She could be trying to figure out if you’re in a relationship or married. She might also be working up the courage to ask you out, or trying to figure out how you spend your time and if you two are compatible or not.. But it might also be polite conversation, so don’t read too much into this one unless she displays some of the other signs.
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Texts or Calls You Outside of Work
When you find that your coworker is constantly calling or texting you outside of work, she might be interested in you. Even if she seems like she has a good reason for texting you, it may just be an excuse to establish some kind of contact and connection outside of work.
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Asks About Your Family
Girls that have a crush on you are interested to learn more about you. If she asks a lot of questions about your life, friends and family, she may be really interested in you. If she’s constantly flirting with you and asks about your family, she may really dig you, so pay attention to the kind of questions she asks when you two are together.
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Asks You to Lunch
Yes, when a girl likes you, she wants to spend more time with you. That’s obvious. She may be too afraid to ask you to dinner, but lunch is usually a safe request. It’s also hard to read. She might just be friendly and enjoy your company, or she’s really interested in you.
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Touches You
Say she “accidentally” bumps into you when you two walk by each other. Or she lightly touches your arm sometimes when you talk. When a girl makes physical contact, she may feel really warmly about you. This is one of the telltale signs that a girl is flirting with you. So next time you two are together, pay attention to how much she touches you.
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Smiles at You
A woman that smiles a lot when she is around you might definitely be crushing on you big time. Of course, some girls are just very friendly and smile often, but if you find she is constantly touching you and smiling while doing it, she might be flirting with you hard. Pay attention to how often she smiles when you two are together, it can be a very good signal of a crush.
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Prolonged Eye Contact
Another clear sign she may be flirting with you is if she makes prolonged eye contact. Especially when you add the above two signals into the mix. If she is touching you, smiling, and making prolonged eye contact, she is clearly signaling interest in you. These three together can be a powerful sign, so learn to watch for them next time you two are chatting with each other.
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Laughs Easily Around You
If she laughs easily around you, even when you know your jokes are stupid, she might definitely like you. You can generally tell when a woman is laughing at jokes that aren’t really that funny. But she thinks your cute, so everything you say and do is amplified in her mind. Watch out for a girl who is always laughing and smiling at you, she might be very interested.
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Starts To Become Interested in the Things You Enjoy
This one is a pretty powerful sign that a girl likes you. If she all of a sudden starts to be interested in the bands, shows, or movies that you really like, then your coworker is probably crushing on you. It doesn’t have to be just music, movies, or T.V. shows. It can be any of your interests or things you enjoy. So pay attention if your female coworker suddenly appears to be interested in the things you like. If you notice a coworker doing this, and she displays the other signs, she might be really interested in you. Some girls are shy, and they may really like you, even though they are hiding it.
Now that we’ve covered 10 signs that your coworker may be crushing on you, it’s important to remember that a girl may display some of the signs, and not really be interested. Sometimes a girl is just being friendly, and we might misjudge something to be more than it really is.
Signs She is Just Being Friendly and Not Flirty
- She always brings up her boyfriend/husband
- She acts the same “flirty” way around most guys in the workplace
- She looks at you like a brother
She Always Brings Up Her Boyfriend/Husband
Being in a relationship or marriage might not completely deter a woman from flirting with you and being into. So it’s not always easy to tell. One good sign that she is just being friendly and not flirty, is if she constantly brings up her boyfriend/husband. When she constantly brings up her significant other, she could be trying to let you know to not misinterpret the situation. If a girl goes seemingly out of her way to let you know she is in a relationship, she’s probably not into you.
She Acts “Flirty” Around Most Other Guys In The Workplace
If you think she’s flirting with you, but realize that she acts the same way around all the other guys in the office, odds are that’s just her nature, and she’s not really into you. Some girls are just ultra friendly and come of flirtatious with guys, even though they aren’t particularly interested. Next time you think your coworker might like you, pay attention to how she acts around other guys. This can give you a pretty good idea of where you stand.
She Looks at You Like a Brother
You and your coworker may be on very friendly terms, and she may even treat you differently than other guys in the workplace, yet she still might not actually be interested in you. It’s possible she looks at you like a brother. If you two have been working together for a long time, and says your like a brother to her, she’s probably not into you.
How To Respond When A Coworker Has a Crush on You
Okay, so you’ve taken a look at all of the signs, and now you’re certain that your coworker is really into you. So, now what? There are a number of factors that need to come into consideration before you respond to this budding workplace romance in the making. These are all important things that you need to think about before you respond:
- Do you like her too?
- Is this just a “job” or is this where you are planning on working long term?
- Are workplace romances frowned upon at this job?
- Could you handle dating each other and seeing each other at work everyday?
- How practical is it really?
Do You Like Her Too?
This one is obvious. If you can tell your colleague likes you, but you don’t share the same feelings, you need to stay professional so that this distraction doesn’t affect your work. If your coworker ends up asking you out, politely decline and explain maturely that you’re not interested. Hopefully this will end it, and save you two any further embarrassment.
If you do actually like her too, this is where things get complicated. Real life isn’t a fairytale, and the decision to pursue a romantic relationship with a coworker can have great impact on your professional life. It’s not something you should take lightly.
Is It Just a “Job” or Is It Where You Were Planning on Working Long Term?
If you do like her, and she likes you, you still might decide not to pursue her. If you’re completely in love with your career and the company your at, you might not want to risk the potential fallout of a failed workplace romance. This is something you need to really reflect on before you decide to make any decisions.
Conversely, if it’s just a job, and it’s to pay the bills while your working towards your career, having a failed workplace relationship doesn’t have as much impact, so in this situation it might be a better idea to go for it.
Are Workplace Romances Frowned Upon at Your Job?
Some companies have really strict policies when it comes to office romances. Go through company policy and see if they cover this anywhere. If you two do decide to move forward and get serious, you may have to announce it HR to see what there stance is. Either way you need to carefully think about the ramifications of this before you proceed.
Could You Handle Dating and Seeing Each Other at Work Everyday?
If you work at a large company in different departments, this might not be an issue for you. But if you work in very close proximity most days, not only could a relationship distract you and affect your performance, it can also get down right annoying. In a healthy relationship, you need time away from each other. Being around the same person too much will drive you absolutely crazy. Sometimes it just won’t work out. This is something you will both seriously want to consider.
How Practical Is It Really?
Before you proceed with a workplace crush, you need to seriously consider the practicality of it. Are you both looking for the same thing? Do you really think she might be the one? Or are you just wanting to have a little fun? How serious you think a romance could turn out to be might seriously affect your decision to move forward with a coworker crush. Ultimately you need to take everything into consideration and make the decision you think is best.
In summary coworkers fall for each other all the time. It’s normal to grow fond of the people you see everyday. We’ve covered 10 signs to look for that will help you figure out if she really does like you. We’ve also covered a few signs that might indicate she is just being friendly.
If you aren’t really into her, remember to remain professional and polite. But if you are into her, you need to think long and hard about whether you think it’s worth it to pursue. Ultimately, it’s up to you!
