15 Tips to Get Over a Breakup Faster
Breakups are a natural part of the human experience. Everyone goes through them, and everybody knows they suck. It’s not easy to find the one. Many relationships start of like a dream, full of hope and bliss, only to derail and turn to misery.
Dealing with the end of a relationship is a difficult time. You will be angry, you will be sad, and everything in between. You may even wonder if you will ever be happy again, but eventually you will be, it’s all a part of the healing process. If you want to speed up that process read these steps you can take to be happy again faster after a relationship ends:
-
Grieve
Allowing yourself to grieve after the end of a relationship is an important part of the recovery process. There are five stages of grief, and understanding these stages and accepting that what you are going through is natural can be comforting in your time of pain.
Not everyone experiences these five stages of grief linearly. You may swing back and forth between stages. Some people skip stages altogether. Everyone experiences it differently. Take the time to understand these stages and rest assured, this is all normal, and you will be okay.
The Five Stages of Grief:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Denial
The first stage of grief is denial. Denial is a natural defense mechanism to pain, especially when the pain is sudden and intense. When in the denial stage you may feel numb to the breakup. The reality of the breakup might not feel quite “real” yet. You might even convince yourself the breakup was a mistake and that you’ll get back together with your significant other tomorrow.
Eventually you will move out of the denial stage, and the pain will begin to surface. But this is another small step towards healing and being happy again, so even though it sucks, when you move out of the denial stage, and it begins to hurt, it’s actually a good thing (even if it doesn’t feel like it).
Anger
When you experience hurt, the natural response is to feel angry. This is another attempt by our brain to mask the pain. You may feel angry at your ex, and convince yourself you hate them. You may feel angry at your job, your family and friends. You might start redirecting your anger at others and blame them for the situation.
Everyone experiences this stage differently, and some will not experience this at all. If you are finding yourself angry try to understand how what you are truly experiencing is hurt, and your brain is trying to lash out as a coping mechanism. In a time of loss, you will need support and comfort from family and friends, so it would be wise to try not to lash out at others in your time of need.
Bargaining
Bargaining is another stage that takes place as a way of avoiding the pain of the end of a relationship. In the bargaining stage you will find yourself making little promises or bargains with yourself as a way of attempting to regain control of the situation.
For example, you may say to yourself:
- “If she would just stay, I won’t get mad ever again.”
- “I’ll be a better person if he would just stay.”
- “If she comes back to me, i’ll be the best boyfriend ever.”
It’s very common for individuals to direct these promises to a higher power as an attempt to avoid the pain. If you find yourself making bargains or promises, just be aware that this is a normal part of the process.
Depression
After the defense mechanisms of the other stages of grief begin to wear off, the reality of the loss starts to set in, and you experience depression. Some people go straight to the depression stage. Other’s bounce back and forth between stages. The depression stage hurts.
In the depression stage you may feel sad, emotional, foggy, unmotivated, and even tired. You might feel like laying in bed all day. It’s common for people in the depression stage to start skipping out on social events and isolate yourself from others. If you find yourself in the depression stage and it is overwhelming, try to reach out to family, friends, or speak to a therapist. The depression stage will pass, and it’s one small step closer towards finding happiness again.
Acceptance
When you find yourself finally accepting the reality of your break, you are in the acceptance stage. In this stage you are no longer to convince yourself the break up wasn’t “for real,” and you are no longer masking and avoiding the pain. Acceptance is a great leap towards finding happiness again.
Although you may still feel heartbroken in the acceptance stage, it is in this stage where you may realize how much you have to offer someone, and begin to hope for happiness with someone again.
-
Disconnect From Social Media
After a breakup it would be wise to distance yourself from social media platforms. Facebook and Instagram can trigger painful memories which might distract you from your goal of finding happiness again. It is not uncommon for people coming out long term relationships to try to prove to their ex how happy they are being single.
It might even be a good choice to delete your ex on social media and unfollow them altogether. Especially when the break up is fresh, social media is likely to only cause pain, so unplugging, is definitely for the best.
-
Treating Yourself
After the end of a relationship it’s easy to get stuck in a rut and continue to wallow and feel sorry for yourself. But in this time your must try to not neglect your own well-being. If you can break the cycle of self-pity right away, you might find yourself getting over the heartbreak in record time.
If you find yourself stuck down in the dumps, treat yourself to something special to take your mind off things! It can be something small, like treating yourself to a massage, a spa day, a new movie you’ve been wanting to see, or it can be something more extravagant, like a trip you’ve always wanted to go out (just don’t get too carried away with your wallet).
It’s important to remember than you can still enjoy yourself after the end of a relationship. Taking the time to treat yourself to something you enjoy is a great step in the direction towards healing and feeling normal again.
-
Get Good Sleep
Taking proper care of your body is an important part of healing your mind and feeling happy again. During a break up your body actually releases stress hormones. This can leave you feeling extremely worn out and depressed. All of this physical turmoil might even begin to affect your performance at work, in sports, school, and during social events.
It will be very difficult to get over this distress without proper rest. Although initially it might feel hard to sleep, make sure you are practicing good sleep hygiene and taking care of your body. Proper rest is a sure fire wire to prime your mind and body for healing faster.
-
Eat Healthy
Another important part of taking care of your body during a break up is eating a diet full of nutrient rich foods! If you fuel your brain with the nutrients it needs you may find yourself feeling better much faster after the end of a relationship. Certain foods have been shown to give your mood a boost, which can help you to feel “right” again very quickly.
Eating a properly healthy diet can also give you enough energy to keep up with the busy demands of life. It would be smart to stay in your normal routine after a breakup, instead of laying on the couch and wallowing in self-pity for too long. And a good diet can help you with the energy to do that.
Bad diets can leave you feeling tired, groggy, and miserable. And let’s be honest, you’re probably feeling that already, so it’s only gonna add to your pain. Stick with good foods and you’ll be happy again in no time.
-
Workout
You’ve likely heard of runners high, where your body releases endorphins after exercise which can lift your mood and make you feel great. Exercise can also reduce stress, help fight anxiety and depression, boost self-esteem, and improve the quality of your sleep. These positive benefits associated with exercise can help to keep you feeling good, even when your heart aches.
If you make sure to get into the gym regularly, odds are you’ll find yourself happier again in no time. Just remember, consistency is key. The self-esteem boost that comes with exercising regularly also might also help you decide to get back into the dating same sooner than you would expect.
-
Meditate
Okay, we gotta admit, sitting quietly alone with your thoughts after a bad breakup doesn’t sound like the best idea. But if you’ve never really meditated there’s much more to it than that. If you can learn to relax yourself and quiet your mind, you will find your whole perspective about the breakup might change. Meditating is a great way to put things into perspective and gain insights about why the relationship failed, why it’s not a big deal, and how next to proceed.
Here’s a great guide on meditation for beginners. If you’re new to meditation just remember to have patience and keep practicing. Meditation can be a powerful way to refresh your mindset after ending a significant relationship.
-
Spend More Time with Family and Friends
Your initial reaction is going to be to isolate yourself from the social world and process your emotions. And that’s fine short term. But if you find yourself frequently skipping out on social events for an extended period of time, it’s time to reach out.
Spending time with your loved ones can help you get over your relationship faster and can give you the much needed boost you need to get out of your head, and find happiness again. It’s okay to reach out to family and friends for support when you’re feeling down.
-
Do Meaningful Activities
After a significant breakup doing activities you find meaningful can renew you with a newfound sense of purpose. When it comes to meaningful activities, the possibilities are endless. Do something you enjoy, something you are passionate about, or volunteer to help others!
You can volunteer at the local animal shelter, food shelf, or homeless shelter. Participating in things that are significant to you can help you reconnect with the world and get you seeing the bigger picture. So next time you’re feeling down, turn it into something productive and do something meaningful!
-
Enjoy your Hobbies
To take your mind off of things, spend time doing the things you love. Whether you enjoy playing sports, going to the gym, acting, playing musical instruments, dancing, crafting, or whatever else you enjoy. Spending time doing the things that excite you is a great way to heal faster. If you don’t really have any hobbies, now’s the perfect opportunity to try new things and see what you like!
-
Find an Escape
Finding a healthy escape from your worries and pains can help you get over your relationship faster. Focusing your energy and attention on something else is exactly what you need sometimes, especially when your thoughts become too overwhelming.
Tried and true escapes are things like watching a movie, binge watching your favorite T.V. show, or getting lost in your favorite book. But you can come up with even more ideas like going to a concert, going for a walk, or bicycle ride.
Just remember to choose a healthy outlet, as a way of taking your mind off things. Don’t practice unhealthy habits as a way of numbing pain. This could cause you to get stuck in a cycle of depression.
-
Work on Yourself
Sometimes the best thing you can do after a relationship ends is work on self-improvement and achieving personal goals. Working towards your goals and improving yourself can give you a much needed confidence and morale boost.
Are you wanting to get in shape? Have you ever wanted to learn another language? Do you have career goals that you would need to go back to school for? Take this opportunity to turn your pain into motivation, and you’ll be one step closer to feeling whole again.
-
Avoid Blaming Yourself
It will be very tempting to have a pity party and start to hyper analyze everything that went wrong and blame yourself for the end of a cherished relationship. You must avoid this at all costs. Sometimes things just don’t work, and two people aren’t really compatible. There is never one person solely to blame for why a relationship ends. Just try to remember that things happen for a reason, and someday you may have a deeper understanding of why things went wrong.
-
Use It as a Learning Experience
There will come a point after the end of a relationship where you can reflect on things with greater clarity. This can be a very productive time for self-growth. Take this time to try to truly understand why the relationship failed. Maybe you two really just weren’t compatible with each other. Maybe you will see that there was constant fighting, jealousy, and mistrust. You might have just been wearing those rose colored glasses the whole time.
During this time of self reflection you can really make great steps in understanding what you really want in a relationship and a significant other. Learning from your past experiences can help you learn what to look for next time, which is a great leap towards true happiness.
-
Get Back Out There
It can be hard to get back into the dating world after ending a relationship, but sometimes you have to push yourself to do it. Getting back into the dating scene can be exciting and give you a great self-esteem boost when you see that others are truly interested in you. There really is a partner for everyone, and even though it takes time, and sometimes pain to find that special person, you will find them. Everything happens for a reason. Eventually you will understand, and be all the happier for it.
