My last significant breakup came as a complete shock to me. Nothing felt real and it was like I was living in a dream for a little while. When reality set in, I just wanted to be alone. My friends could sense that I was starting to withdraw, and they would really push me to spend time with them. I kept telling them I have to study (I was in college at the time), but really I just wanted to be by myself.
We all go through it. The dreaded feeling of isolation after a breakup. The end of a relationship always sucks, and feeling alone only adds to that misery. But what you are feeling is completely normal. Most people have felt exactly what you are feeling right now. The good news is that it will pass. With a little time and effort you will feel happy again after a breakup.
Loneliness is not only bad for your mental well-being, but it also can harm your physical health. Loneliness increases stress and can lead to things like anxiety and depression. You can take steps to minimize the toll loneliness is taking on you though.
8 Tips on Dealing with Loneliness After the End of a Relationship
- Stay Productive
- Participate in Group Activities
- Reach out to Family/Friends
- Go on a Walk
- Practice Mindfulness
- Volunteer
- Join a Group Fitness Class
- See a Therapist
Stay Productive
When you’re feeling alone and you don’t really have anything going on, staying productive is a great way to take your mind off things and turn your emotional pain into fuel for achievement. Staying productive is one of my favorite ways to deal with loneliness. It can be something as simple as cleaning your home or apartment, studying, baking, garending, doing crafts, hobbies or working on a personal project. You will be amazed at how placing your focus on something else can make all your worries melt away.
Participate in Group Activities
As much as you might want to isolate yourself, and avoid social activities, you will feel better much faster if you get out and connect with people. Learn to be a “yes” person when invited out. Better yet, invite your friends out!
There are thousands of ideas for fun group activities you can do to take your mind off things and help you deal with feeling alone. You can go to a movie, go camping, hiking, bowling, have a board game night, take a cooking class, take an art class. The possibilities are endless. Make an effort to get out there, and you might actually find yourself enjoying your time.
Reach Out To Family and Friends
When you’re feeling alone reach out to your support group for help and comfort. Having the support of family and friends in your time of need can do wonders for your well-being. You can also turn to the support of a beloved pet in your time of need. Pets can do wonders for your health in times of need.
Eventually you will begin to realize that you are not as alone as you thought you were, and that your feelings of isolation were you over-analyzing the situation. This is a normal part of the process of healing from a relationship, and you will get through it.
Go on a Walk
If you’re feeling lonely and have been cooped up in your apartment or home, getting outside and taking a walk can do wonders for your mental health. Getting out into your neighborhood or finding a nice park to take a stroll in can be incredibly rejuvenating. Sometimes all you need is a little sunlight, exercise, and fresh air to lift your mood and take your mind off things.
Walking is good for both your mental and physical health. One study showed that women who averaged 200 minutes of walking per week had more energy, improved emotional mood, were less depressed, and socialized more often (1).
Practice Mindfulness
Often times you will find that feelings of loneliness after a breakup come from overthinking and overanalyzing the situation. One surefire way to deal with this pain is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is achieved by focusing your awareness on the present moment.
Seems like a logical cure right? If your loneliness is caused by being “in your head” too much, then focusing on what’s in front of you can definitely help you. You can practice mindfulness in a variety of ways, but the simplest way is to make a conscious effort to focus on the present moment. If you’re watching a TV show or movie, really try to focus and pay attention to the plot instead of letting your mind wander off. If you’re cleaning, focus on the task, and every time you start to sense your mind drifting from the task at hand, simply return your focus to what you are doing.
You will find your mind likes to wander off and start thinking about other things, and this is normal, that’s what our mind does! But through awareness of this pattern of the mind, and little practice you can become better at focusing on what is in front of you. Mastering this skill can drastically improve your mood and well-being. If you’re curious and what to learn more about mindfulness, here is a great guide on the subject.
Volunteer
Volunteering is a great way to deal with feeling lonely, while also giving back and being productive. Doing something good for others has been shown to have a number of positive benefits for both physical and mental health. Studies show that helping others makes us more happy, can help you live longer, lowers blood pressure, and gives us a sense of purpose and overall satisfaction with life (2).
There are plenty of fun volunteering ideas that you can do. You can volunteer for a charity run, for a church group, at an elderly home, animal shelter, tutoring children, blood drive, homeless shelter and more. Volunteering is a great rewarding method for taking your mind off things and getting social again.
Join a Group Fitness Class
Group fitness classes are a great way to become more healthy and be social at the same time. You would be surprised how easy it is to make friends and be more social when you work up a sweat with the same people everyday. It’s also incredibly motivating to have the support of your workout group when exercising.
In addition to the great social aspects of group fitness classes, the mental and physical benefits are worth exercising for alone. Exercise has been proven to provide a mood boost, help ease depression and anxiety, lower stress, increase self-esteem, increase confidence, improve your quality of sleep, and give your brain a boost (3). All of these wonderful benefits will have you feeling great and forgetting about your relationship problems. Plus, who knows who you might meet at the gym!
See A Therapist
If you notice your loneliness and isolation is becoming too overwhelming seeing a counselor or therapist can help you work through your feelings. Sometimes dealing with the grief of the end of a significant relationship is too much for us to process on our own, and we need expert advice and strategies on dealing with the pain. Ask your doctor for a therapist recommendation or search online for one near you.
In summary, there are a lot of things you can do to help ease the way you are feeling after the loss of a relationship. It’s okay to take a little time alone to process your emotions, especially when the breakup is fresh. But eventually you need to get back into the world and reconnect. If you make an effort to stay involved socially and get out and do things, you’ll be surprised at how fast you can bounce back!